I always think of, like, 2nd century scriptural debates when matters of canon come up.
General rabble: accepts bits from the movies and the books and maybe cursed child and that one fanfic they read when it crossed their dash. In general, whatever supports my ship is canon.
Proto-orthodox church fathers: The 7 books, 8 movies, Cursed Child, Pottermore, and everything from Fantastic Beasts including the new information in the trailer are all canon. If the books and the movies appear to contradict each other, your understanding is unclear. Maybe Harry walked into the forest twice.
Marcion: Fantastic Beasts isn’t canon. Cursed Child isn’t canon. The movies are not canon except where they provide a texturally harmonious expansion of the books. Pottermore and Twitter and interviews aren’t canon except where they support my main thesis. Those parts in the later books I don’t like are due to the nefarious influence of Steve Kloves. I will provide detailed textual arguments for my headcanons that contradict statements in material I consider noncanonical. I am a member of one or more character’s defense squads.
ron: hi charlie. how are you? i am fine. my friends have an illegal dragon and we need it to go somewhere safe and also secret so we don’t get in trouble. don’t tell mum.
Can we have a Harry Potter AU where Regulus Black is the Death Eater spy turned potions master instead of Snape?
I can’t believe I only JUST realized all the comedy potential that is Sirius showing up to kill Peter 3rd year and finding his supposedly evil brother working at Hogwarts and having civil conversations with Remus about Harry’s grades
Please let this be after a full year of awkwardness of Regulus working with his evil brother’s ex
Sirius and Regulus are both convinced they’re the good brother
I always laugh when somebody declares James Potter on the verge of expulsion for his pranks in fic because Malfoy was literally a Death Eater trying to kill the Headmaster and Dumbledore was like “Let’s just see if we can gently guide him away from this” I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets you expelled at Hogwarts is if you have already straight up murdered someone
Tom Riddle: *straight up murdered someone*
Dumbledore: *keeps an annoyingly close eye on*
hagrid got expelled for keeping one (1) spider under his bed
Hagrid got expelled because his spider was blamed for one (1) murder
Hagrid got expelled because he was half giant and they found a convenient excuse.
jinlinli 