I lay awake at night dreading the day when a very potter musical is no longer outrageously funny to people because they don’t understand all of the painfully 2009 cultural references that are made
Isn’t this what happened to Shakespeare
Future editions of AVPM will have a footnote explaining who Zac Efron was.
Being straight is like being in gryffindor: all the main characters are always gryffindor, there’s tons of merch for gryffindor, and no one’s gonna give you shit for being in gryffindor.
Being gay is like being in slytherin: everyone has heard of it, but the merch is few and far between so you have to really want it. The only slytherin characters are secondary and morally gray. Some people think you are evil.
Being bisexual is like being in ravenclaw: there is no merch. there are no major ravenclaw characters. people definitely try to lump it in with either gryffindor or slytherin, and there are a few weird stereotypes.
I don’t ship Drarry but with that being said, I will accept no other Drarry prompt than them stubbornly competing to outdo the other for the sheer drama.
It starts off when they’re still enemies in the Goblet of Fire. Draco makes a taunt about who Harry’s going to ask to the Yule Ball and how they must be from the worst of the worst lot and Harry rolls his eyes and says, “Well, fitting you say that, Malfoy, because I was going to ask you.” A perfect zing, Harry. 10/10.
But now the ball’s in Draco’s court and obviously he’s not going to pass up on the chance to humiliate the scarhead so he takes the most logical route of humiliation and calls out his bluff: “Fine, Potter, I reckon we’re going.”
But do you think Harry James Potter is just going to back down? That stubborn teenager is going to stare Draco down and say, “Reckon we are.”
Ron’s confused and Hermione’s confused and literally the entire castle is confused but Harry’s satisfied because he called out a bluffer’s counterbluff with a bluff of his own. And they just keep it up.
“I suppose you don’t even know how to dance, Potter?”
The furious teenager who spent years having to watch soapbox dramas with Mrs. Figg just glares at him in his stupid dress robes. “I know some things.”
“Prove it.”
“Fine.”
It’s like that for days until Draco makes the ultimate power move by inviting Harry to the Malfoy’s Annual New Years Eve Ball, taking out a Daily Prophet ad no less, because oh, oh, he’s got Potter now. He’ll never accept and he’ll be humiliated in front of the entire wizarding world. And do you think Harry’s just going to go down without a fight? God, no, he’s going to win whatever the hell this is because he’s Harry Potter, Draco better be worried, oh boy.
They’re still going at it six months later.
“Err—Malfoy?” Crabbe says. “Potter just sent you a dozen roses?”
“That son of a bitch! Send a box of chocolates. That’ll show him.”
“Um, Draco—?”
“I WILL NOT BE OUTDONE, PARKINSON!”
i couldn’t resist 😛
Yep. This is it. This is the only Drarry headcanon I’ll accept from this point on.
is that no teacher ever called him James by accident, or that Ron never was called “Bill-, eh Charl-, no Per-, argh!”
ministry: ministry of magic what’s your emergency
harry: uh yeah so the dark lord’s back and he’s killing people
ministry: what no he can’t do that
ministry: that’s illegal
I always laugh when somebody declares James Potter on the verge of expulsion for his pranks in fic because Malfoy was literally a Death Eater trying to kill the Headmaster and Dumbledore was like “Let’s just see if we can gently guide him away from this” I’m pretty sure the only thing that gets you expelled at Hogwarts is if you have already straight up murdered someone
Tom Riddle: *straight up murdered someone*
Dumbledore: *keeps an annoyingly close eye on*
hagrid got expelled for keeping one (1) spider under his bed
Hagrid got expelled because his spider was blamed for one (1) murder
Hagrid got expelled because he was half giant and they found a convenient excuse.
tea
Hagrid should have been allowed to rematriculate into Hogwarts after his name was finally cleared.
i had a dream the other night where hogwarts houses were determined with hair colour
like, blondes went into hufflepuff, redheads went to gryffindor, brunettes were ravenclaw and black hair meant slytherin
and as a result like everybody was a ravenclaw or slytherin, there were like twenty hufflepuffs and gryffindors combines and everyone else was one of the other two
jinlinli 