john mulaney – jinlinli

kwehkwehmotherfucker:

morthils:

stillisee:

aro-as-in-straight-as-a:

thegoodjanet:

izzy-almighty:

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

I don’t even go here (just like… my toes) and I want this, specifically with all these tages from @bosstoaster

#The episode would be Amy getting jealous not of John and Jake but that he has so many interests in common with Holt #So she spends the whole time trying to win back the Captain #Meanwhile Rosa is on a warpath at Jake #Because she told HIM about her sexuality and stuff and had EMOTIONS #And he didn’t tell HER #How DARE he

“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”

“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“

the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”

everybody else is like “charles no”

at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for

But he gets away by throwing a silver money clip with a fifty dollar bill in it in the gutter

This post got so much better

connorsquarter:

connorsquarter:

literally desaturate any frame from john m.ulaney’s latest standup and it looks like it’s from a variety show in 1935

fucckingbagofbags:

birdbian:

i am a bright and colourful piñata and god is a 13 year old birthday boy whose parents have just announced their divorce.

this reads like a john mulaney bit

pactmagic:

somewhat-honest-abe:

brainshart:

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

I love how he gave this bit at an autism benefit because it is also a heavy Autism Mood™

This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever seen.

aro-as-in-straight-as-a:

thegoodjanet:

izzy-almighty:

hot take: jake peralta is bi and john mulaney plays his ex boyfriend from high school in season six of brooklyn nine-nine

john mulaney plays a rockin’ twink

John Mulaney: *to himself* What would Leonard Bernstein do?

Captain Holt: *to Jake, quietly* I support your and Amy’s relationship with my whole heart but why on earth would you give up a man like that

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

John Mulaney is the only bitch I respect on this earth

teacupfulofstarshine:

peachywise:

john mulaney looked so stunned to win the emmy because now his immortal life is recorded in history, so 100 years from now when a historian asks him why he looks so much like that emmy award-winning comedian, he’s going to have to throw his money clip in order to distract them

“you want it? GO GET IT~”

notaficwriter:

hypothesis: the salt & pepper diner experiment can no longer be conducted as it stands, because everyone is now fully attuned to the opening bars of tom jones’ “what’s new pussycat?”, classically conditioned into a fight-or-flight response. however, this experience can be replicated using 21 back-to-back plays of lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″, as the general response to “mambo no. 5″ being played twice in a row is not, “hey someone’s playing “mambo no. 5″ again,” but rather, “hey, lou bega’s 1999 hit song “mambo no. 5″ is a lot longer than i first thought.”