are we ever going to talk about how you have to get actual permission from both your captain and doctor in order to have sex with an alien
like who sits around Starfleet and makes these rules
For everyone wondering about this:
“All Starfleet personnel must obtain authorization from their CO as well as clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species.” (VOY: “The Disease”)
It’s true.
this is hilarious
yo captain i wanna bang this alien
sdfsldkfslkj this is the part of Bones’s job he hates the most, going through all the forms on his PADD to give the green-light to all these potential sexual encounters he just WISHES HE DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE but you know he actually DOES SOME RESEARCH to see if people will be COMPATIBLE whereas Jim just ticks the box, all, FREE LOVE, BONES and Bones has to be like GODDAMMIT DID YOU EVEN READ THE FILE, JIM, THEY DON’T EVEN HAvE ORIFICES and Jim is like, wow, Bones, they can still have fun, don’t judge
and bones
hates
everything
This sounds like the sort of rule that got instituted because of something that happened to Kirk, TBH.
It’s referred to in Bones’ log as “The Incident” and Kirk was itchy and purple for weeks
Y’all have got it backwards.
Kirk wanting to bang everything that movies is mostly the parody version of the character. The notion owes more to Zap Brannigan and company than anything out of the original series; yes, Kirk sometimes ends up in compromising positions with female aliens, because he’s a 60s action hero, but he rarely pursues it himself.
In the original series, it’s Bones himself who wants to bang everything with two legs and a pulse.
Like, it’s an actual plot point in multiple episodes.
And let’s be fair. Two legs is probably optional. There’s doubtless an Edosian woman or two that’s been graced with his affections.
Random headcanon: the Starfleet regulation cited above originally required only the clearance of the chief medical officer. The requirement for the CO’s authorisation was added specifically in response to the fallout of Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy’s realisation that, by the strict letter of the rules, he could authorise himself to fuck anything.
“I’m a doctor and I say this is ok” -Bones, probably
so my grandma died recently, and my parents have been dealing with the quantities of Stuff accumulated over the course of her and my grandpa’s lives, which could be interesting on its own as a family matter, but, well, grandpa was a science fiction writer, and they knew a lot of science fiction writers, which means a lot of the stuff is classic sci-fi and fantasy. books, artwork, that kind of thing. what i had not realized, but perhaps should have predicted, was that knowing a lot of science fiction writers in the ‘60s meant that they knew people who had written for this one TV show in the ‘60s that some science fiction writers worked on, and these people liked to share stuff.
what i’m saying is that i have now held in my hands one of the original, physical scripts for the star trek episode “amok time”.
it was like holding a piece of history. my own hands, carefully cradling the origin of sex pollen and fuck or die. a work whose influence went far behind what the writer could have expected–sacred, almost, in its way. who knows how much spawned from this episode? how much fanfiction would never have existed were it not for this holy text? indeed, the very concept of slash itself? an artifact, a priceless relic, sitting on my parents’ couch.
i haven’t seen the entirety of the episode itself, so i don’t know if there are any real differences between the script and what was aired, but i had to skim it anyway–and i did find something that is perhaps worth mentioning, whether or not this actually counts as canon. but hey, hard to get more canon than an Actual Official Script, right?
VULCANS BLUSH YELLOW, BITCHES, IT’S CANON
also, this:
thanks for specifying “karate-type”, theodore sturgeon. coulda gotten confusing, that.
anyway, it was a deeply surreal experience and i’m pretty sure the script is getting donated someplace with a lot of the other stuff, but man, my grandparents were cool
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it
Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”
Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”
“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”
*prolonged silence* “oh my…”
“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”
*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
like i know there are a lot of fics out there where other vulcans are all “oh man, jim kirk’s so freakin HOT how’d spock get in his pants” but IF ANYTHING it’s actually the reverse. spock shows up on vulcan one day with Jim on his arm and all the other vulcans are OUTRAGED. They’ve spent years mooning (logically) over spock’s flaxen bowl cut. his dark eyes. his slightly lax emotional control that gives him just a hint of the “bad boy” vibe that we all know vulcans secretly go wild for. Sarek receives like a thousand bonding proposals a year from VSA graduates who all have google alerts set to notify them when spock gets a new xeniobiology article published. and then they find out. that the object of their (totally logical) affections. had the equivalent of a las vegas wedding with the human captain of his starfleet ship while in the middle of a five year mission. vulcans may be too logical to riot but on that day, a good many vulcans had to meditate for an extra hour or two just to contain their rage
This is the sci fi equivalent to that post about Gimli son of Gloin, the Stud of Erebor
i love star trek but it was made in the 60s so you gotta take it with a grain of salt. sometimes multiple grains of salt. sometimes mounds of salt in the shape of the most poorly choreographed fight scene ever set to the silliest fight music ever featuring a guest appearance by william shatner’s nipples
Did you mean: Arena
i was actually talking about amok time but now im realizing how many episodes this description fits
yanno those white noise sites like rainymood.com or the cafe shop one? i’d like an Enterprise bridge one, please. Soft beeping, maybe some chill version of amok time theme or something, and every now and then the crew calmly issuing orders or reading something sciency. im watching the lights of zetar and this evasive scene? is super calming and i need it on infinite repeat somehow. someone make this happen.
SO APPARENTLY I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS
my personal fave is the mynoise Enterprise noise generator (TOS) which is essentially infinite AND lets you adjust the levels of different component sounds yourself
jinlinli 