Avengers: Huh, it’s been a while since Thor’s been back, hope he isn’t too confused about all of our new members and what’s been going on.
Thor: *flying into battle with an axe* Hey everyone nice to meet ya by the way I’ve brought back Banner also meet my friends Rabbit and Tree I’ll introduce you to my space team and my friend throckmorton and my personal drunk hero later at the family dinner xoxoxo oh yeah also made up with loki watched him die but he could also be that random green snake right there, lost an eye gained an eye lost my hammer gained an axe also the rest of Asgard and I need to crash with one of you because *jean ralphio voice* tECHNICALLY I’M HOMELESSSSSSS
Can we just talk about how much of a beast Thor actually is?
• Wields Stormbreaker as the bifrost. He is now his own gatekeeper and a teleporter.
• Singlehandedly took out hundreds of creepy alien bitches.
• Watched Loki, Heimdall and his people die by Thanos and his goons and still sought to fight (I mean yeah, it’s Thor, but yo, his dad is dead, his mom is dead, his brother is dead, his people, friends, if I were him I’d just cry.)
• Savagely rummaged through the Guadians food and when Quill crankily comments it’s theirs simply replies, “Not anymore.”
• Introduces Groot to Steve as his friend, Tree
• Understands Groot’s language.
• Manages to inspire the most pessimistic rabbit in the galaxy.
• Acquires Groot’s respect and friendship enough for Groot act and help save his life.
• Finds time to playfully accuse Cap of stealing his beard in the midst of intense battle.
• Opened a gate for the fucking neutron star energy after being told he could die.
• Comforts Gamora knowing how freaky deaky crazy her dad is and the suffering she must’ve faced under his thumb even though Thanos just destroyed everything he held dear. The fact that Thor even feels that compassion and makes the distinction. Mindblown.
• Makes Quill feel puny with his muscles and determined uncaring attitude enough for Quill to awkwardly deepen his voice and puff out his chest.
• Feels like he has nothing more to lose but everything to gain.
• Showed up in Wakanda looking like an absolute snack with his house plant and pet.
thor is that chad looking dude pathetic men try to say is the enemy and he’s always sort of messing around in class so u think he’s sort of an ass but one night you end up at the same party as him and find out he’s the DD for everyone there. He makes 15 trips. He carries four grown men into their dorms on his shoulders and makes sure they pass out on their sides so they’re safe but not until he makes all of them drink a glass of water.
then he asks everyone else who’s still conscious if they want to go to steak n’ shake before the night ends. he pays for all the shakes.
I’ve never read a more accurate description of Thor in my life
Thor took groot as an elective which means growing up he was the rare combination of nerd and jock and idk why people are surprised i mean the boy talks astrophysics wirh bruce 7 phd’s banner like its nothing and when he drops down to earth which clique does he immediately join? Not shield!! Not the avengers!! Some podunk star scientists out in the middle of nowhere on an extended camping trip like!! Whilst loki was painting his nails to match his cufflinks, thor was studying foreign languages as he benchpressed heimdall. Thor isnt your garden variety jock he’s a bookworm jock, easily found stargazing or doodling in his moleskin journal
Loki: Why you would want to talk to sentient trees? Thor: Why wouldn’t you? They are sentient trees!!
jinlinli 