marvel’s tv shows would be a lot better if they would stop trying to make them super dramatic and instead made them comedies that happen to be about superheroes. like @ marvel, recast clint barton and give him superhero show with a setup similar to parks and rec or the office and i guarantee you’ll get better tv ratings.
kate: dude you’re shaking, how much coffee did you drink today
clint: i haven’t had any coffee today
[immediately cuts to clint sitting in front of the camera, drinking some coffee]
clint: this is my 27th cup
literally anyone: [talks about how clint should drink more water and take more vitamins and generally try to take better care of himself]
clint: [looks into the camera and then turns off his hearing aid]
You know what *I* want? Clint Barton dragging himself to Claire Temple’s apartment three times a week, at minimum, with tales of superheroic valor leading to grievous injuries, and she snarkily patches him up because that’s what she does, and at least he’s not being STUPID like a certain Matthew Murdock, he’s actually trying to do the right thing, okay, finally she’s got one whose work she can respect because he’s not a total idiot.
And then the actual superhero battle happens and she watches the whole thing on TV, cringing, expecting to see him fall off an alien speeder or get blown up, and he… doesn’t. Because it turns out in combat situations, dude is HYPER focused. Dude has AWESOME reflexes. There’s nothing this dumbass can’t flip off of and land on his feet when he’s really working hard at it.
Which is when she decides to hire Jessica Jones for a little covert surveillance… and that’s how she finds out that 99% of the injuries are actually from the greatest archer in the world scalding himself on the coffee machine and tripping over his dog.
It’s so weird how sometimes when I read a poem it just feels like a bunch of words and sometimes when I read a poem it feels like someone ripping my heart out of my body and throwing it at my face at 90 mph
“The truth is, chivalry has basically fuck all to do with women, and everything to do with horses. See, the word “chivalry” comes from the French word “chevalier,” which comes from “cheval,” which means “horse.” Chivalry is literally just “rules for if you have a horse.” This was an important set of rules to have in chivalry times. Horses were the Blackhawk Helicopters of the Middle Ages; if you had a horse, you could absolutely kill anybody who didn’t have a horse and nobody was going to say a god damn thing. The only thing stopping you was chivalry. That’s what chivalry was for. Chivalry was – and still is – basically a way of saying, “okay, I have an optimized death machine between my legs, maybe I should look out for people who don’t have one of these.” So it’s not that chivalry is specifically about defending women because women are weak. It’s that chivalry is about defending people who don’t own horses, and in the middle ages women didn’t own shit.”
“Chivalry boils down to three things: mercy, charity, and humility. Mercy means being conscious of your advantages, and treating other humans gently. Charity means giving without expecting anything in return. Humility means accepting your mistakes, and recognizing that those who don’t have your advantages aren’t your inferiors.“
jinlinli 