I cannot stress enough: please don’t do this. My (32M, Warrior) marriage fell apart when my linear scaling fell behind my spouse’s (36F, Wizard) quadratic scaling. We couldn’t even fight in the same battles and eventually we couldn’t relate anymore.
There’s just not really room for taking on life’s challenges together when you spend your combat turn being like “I hit it with my sword” and she’s like “I cast Wish, and summon twelve swords directly into its digestive tract.”
This post is setting people up for heartbreak, honestly.
But have you considered being a more considerate partner and using Wish to summon a dozen swords directly into your spouse’s scabbards for them to throw or stab and leave behind in the enemy as needed?
Sometimes love means sharing your magical powers so that it’s not “I hit it” and “I cast wish” but “WE turn the enemy into a sword pincushion.”
steve rogers i know and love is not the man who runs away from a fight and stays hiding as other people fix his fucking mess, marvel.
steve rogers i know and love would haul a beaten up tony on that flight, go back to the US, drop him by the medical and march straight into the Senate with his Please Fucking Try Me and See What Happens™ look. he’d stand there and take the blame for idiotic things he’d done, apologize sincerely, and then hed just slam the entire room of Old Assholes with facts that they wouldnt have a country to govern if it weren’t for the avengers, that sokovia was a fucking mess but so was Vietnam and Iraq and every other shitty thing that the government itself was to blame for, and then he’d finish with: “Go ahead and lock me up, it will be my utmost pleasure to see you kneeling in front of me begging for me to help defend the earth once a threat bigger than all of your tax frauds comes here to wipe us out.” and he just. walks away slowly and no one dares to fucking stop him.
Steve Rogers falsified enlistment forms just to get in the line of fire, Steve Rogers spent his life getting into fights when he knew what he was doing was the right thing no matter how strong the enemy was, and you cant fucking convince me that Steve Rogers would run away and hide from some pampered politicians and constructive debate when the alien threat lingered over all of us.
China’s netizens are all in a twitter over the account of a carpenter who was commissioned to make a cinnabar red high-backed chair with the finials at the top to be “in the shape of dragons’ heads” (chéng lóngtóu 成龍頭). Unfortunately, he misinterpreted the directions to mean “[in the shape of] Jackie Chan’s head” (“Chénglóng tóu 成龍頭”).
LMAO ok so to elaborate on this absolute gem, notice how the characters provided for “in the shape of dragons’ heads” and “[in the shape of] Jackie Chan’s head” are identical? That wasn’t a typo.
The thing you need to understand about Chinese names is that they all have meaning. And I don’t mean that in the sense of “if you trace the etymology back through two languages it has its roots in a Hebrew phrase that means “God is my ____” that many Western names have. I mean that in the sense of “almost all of these words are still in regular use today and my parents very literally named me “pretty [and] wise” in Chinese.
(Sidenote: This is why we get annoyed at made-up ‘Chinese’ names that just pull two random vaguely Chinese-sounding syllables together. It is blindingly obvious when it’s not a real name).
成
(chéng) means “to become”, “to turn into”. 龍 (lóng)
is “dragon”. Thus, Jackie Chan’s Chinese stage name,
成龍 (Chénglóng), literally means “become dragon”. (頭 (tóu), of course, means “head”)
(Further sidenote: This is actually a bit of a pun/reference. Specifically, it is a reference to Bruce Lee, whose stage name was 小龍 (Xiǎolóng), or, “Little dragon”. So Jackie’s chosen stage name means both “become dragon”, and “become [like] Bruce Lee”)
The other thing you need to know about Chinese is that we don’t put spaces between terms in written text.
What all this means is that the way you’d write “[carve] into dragon heads” can be identical to the way you’d write “[carve] Jackie Chan’s head”, and literally the only difference would be where you pause when you vocalise it: before lóngtóu, or after chénglóng. XD
jinlinli 