It’s a good metaphor tho, because the situation is never going to get better if you don’t eventually pull the door. And afterwards, no matter what the damage was, you’ll have a working cabinet, whatever plates you could salvage, and a place to start putting new plates.
Reblogging for that comment ^
another good post
Therapist: “Okay, what if we focus the pane of glass to right, which you didn’t realize was contributing to the problem by not allowing you to directly deal with it? And I know it might be difficult and awkward to do, but what if we *take that pane out of the cabinet* entirely? Because with it out of the way, you could reach in and adjust the whole stack, and with enough time, get all the pieces right back where it belongs without there being nearly the amount of damage you’re afraid of. …Feel free to chuck the pane of glass you took out directly into the trash, though. You can replace it at a later point if you decide your cabinet needs one.”
“I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing — instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls.”
—
Ursula K. Le Guin, “A Left-Handed Commencement Address” (Mills College, 1983)
this passage planted itself in my consciousness when i was 24, and 10 years later, it informs so much of my approach to living, thinking, creating.
The key to getting over imposter syndrome is to know everyone else is an imposter too. Tell yourself you deserve a stake in the scam they’re all running.
Ummmm excuse me but this is fucking brilliant.
Did you just cure imposter syndrome with… spite?
You can cure a LOT with spite.
Terry Pratchett’s Moist Von Lipwig character arc, a summary.
Told one of my friends that I unfriended my homophobic/transphobic uncle on facebook before coming out and they responded with “but how can you open his mind that way?” so just a reminder:
My job is to exist. My job is to be happy. My job is not to educate, I am willing to help you educate yourself, but above all else, it is my job to find peace that I’ve wanted for years. If someone does not make me feel good, why should I have to be a part of their life? I do not have to suffer so that others can grow. A blooming garden is not expected to keep it’s vines and weeds, so why am I?
“I do not have to suffer so that others can grow.”
Remember, it is not the responsibility, (nor can it be), of the oppressed to educate their oppressors.
It’s my job.
Or me and others who also had to seek education and understanding in the name of compassion. Once I got past it being compassionate (everyone starts somewhere) and made it on my own to Basics of Humanity 101, then I really began to get myself sorted.
Now that I’ve gotten better at being a human I am usually keeping my eyes open and my ears tuned to anyone else who is where I used to be.
When my daughter’s fantastically, wildly, dangerously gay friend was having the worst possible experiences in life he began ending up on my doorstep. I was seriously long term ill so I was at home all the time in those days. When he’d tell me about the horrors of the day to my outrage I found out some of his teachers were telling this sweet, confused, exhausted young person it was his job to get back in there on the front lines at any cost.
Nope. Nope. Nope. I told him that any good fighting force allowed the ones in the front lines to fall back, rest and regroup. He was so young and had been fighting on his own just to survive for so long that he was completely burnt out and he was suicidal. He needed rest, ice cream, quiet advice when he asked for it and as it turned out, my upper-arm-length deep green velvet opera gloves.
That was when the second line of defense was sent in. The second line of defense protects the ones who have been on the front lines for too long without rest. They come in with a different, but effective strategy. One of the first things they do is make it clear the ones who fall back are off limits. That second line of defense has different tools to work with and they are going to wage battle using different methods.
I know these things because in those days I was the second line of defense for the kids who ended up on my doorstep.
“don’t give a fuck what people think about you but give a fuck about people” fuck taliesin that’s pretty good
“make people deal with you but make sure dealing with you is always a positive and kind experience” FUCK TALIESIN THAT’S PRETTY GOOD taliesin that’s such a powerful fucking vibe that it’s remodeling my goddamn life around it
“‘Because she likes people,’ said the witch, striding ahead. ‘She cares about ‘em. Even the stupid, mean, drooling ones, the mothers with the runny babies and no sense, the feckless and the silly and the fools who treat her like some kind of a servant. Now THAT’S what I call magic–seein’ all that, dealin’ with all that, and still goin’ on. It’s sittin’ up all night with some poor old man who’s leavin’ the world, taking away such pain as you can, comfortin’ their terror, seein’ ‘em safely on their way…and then cleanin’ ‘em up, layin’ ‘em out, making ‘em neat for the funeral, and helpin’ the weeping widow strip the bed and wash the sheets–which is, let me tell you, no errand for the fainthearted–and stayin’ up the next night to watch over the coffin before the funeral, and then going home and sitting down for five minutes before some shouting angry man comes bangin’ on your door ‘cuz his wife’s havin’ difficulty givin’ birth to their first child and the midwife’s at her wits’ end and then getting up and fetching your bag and going out again…. We all do that, in our own way, and she does it better’n me, if I was to put my hand on my heart. THAT is the root and heart and soul and center of witchcraft, that is. The soul and center!’ Mistress Weatherwax smacked her fist into her hand hammering out her words. ‘The…soul…and…CENTER!’ Echoes came back from the trees in the sudden silence. Even the grasshoppers by the side of the track had stopped sizzling. ‘And Mrs Earwig,’ said Mistress Weatherwax, her voice sinking to a growl, ‘Mrs. Earwig tells her girls it’s about cosmic balances and stars and circles and colors and wands and…and toys, nothing but TOYS!’ She sniffed. ‘Oh, I daresay they’re all very well as decoration, somethin’ nice to look at while you’re workin’, somethin’ for show, but the start and finish, THE START AND FINISH, is helpin’ people when life is on the edge. Even people you don’t like. Stars is easy, people is hard.’ She stopped talking. It was several seconds before birds began to sing again. ‘Anyway, that’s what I think,’ she added in the tones of someone who suspects that she might have gone just a bit further than she meant to.”
— Terry Pratchett, “A Hat Full of Sky” (via currentboat)
One of the more profound things I’ve heard recently came from a Mr. Rogers documentary. In a clip from his show, Mr. Rogers had just visited with a musician, and tells his audience that some people play music, and some people don’t, and that’s okay.
And then he said, “The important thing is to find something you feel good about doing.”
That phrasing struck me. “Something you feel good about doing”. Most people would have phrased it as “something you enjoy doing”. Or “something you’re good at doing”. But Mr. Rogers’ subtly different phrasing leads to a profoundly different connotation. “Something you feel good about doing” may not be enjoyable–people who work in hospitals or in disaster zones might not enjoy much of their day, but they probably feel good about helping people. “Something you feel good about doing“ may not be something you’re particularly good at–you may be a terrible artist by any objective standard, but if you feel good about making your art, then it’s a worthwhile endeavor. Looking for “something you feel good about doing” can help you find a truly satisfying life path.
That phrase is also helpful with daily decision-making. Too often, I can make choices based on “what feels good.” I put aside tasks that are too stressful or avoid activities that seem too difficult, in favor of mindlessly browsing the internet. And I enjoy myself. I feel good while I’m doing that. But at the end of the day, I don’t feel good about how I spent my time. However, reminding myself to do “something I feel good about doing” can motivate me to accomplish those more difficult tasks. It can push me to do something outside of my comfort zone, to try something new that I might not be much good at. And maybe this is a blindingly obvious philosophy to everyone else. But I’m grateful for the reminder.
sometimes i have too many emotions and sometimes i have none at all but i always always feel like i’m drowning
Learn how to swim Bitch
i made this post when i was in A Mood and all the replies are so angst and depressing except this Whole Ass Mood. Learn how to swim Bitch it’s 2018 we’re dealing with our problems
jinlinli 