hey here’s something I learned only today despite being a lifelong Harry Potter reader
Hagrid is 12 fucking feet tall
people are having a laugh at me for not knowing this but can you blame me? i thought “really tall” was like… 8-9 feet maximum. 12 feet is a fucking lot
Soooo…uhh…
…let’s talk about this.
I feel like—we—we definitely need to talk about this.
Every Adult In “Harry Potter” Let Us Down At Some Point And That’s Important a 900 page dissertation by me
And that includes Joanne Kathleen Rowling a tear stained afterword by me
Hagrid Is The Exception a rebuttal by me
The Time Hagrid Told Voldemort How to Take Out Something Protecting an Object that Grants Immortality When He Was Drunk and Other Well-Meaning Fuck Ups a lengthy chapter
i’m literally going to write out of spite a fantasy series focused on the relationship between two gay wizards in the 1920s who are driven apart due to one’s lust for power, ultimately leading to a final confrontation between the two to determine the fate of the world. and you know what??? jk can’t even sue me for it since she never actually incorporated it into her works, so boom i win.
ngl one of the main reasons i ship romione is because hermione got a cat that is the cat version of ron
…you just blew my entire mind
BIG, GINGER, GRUMPY, AND A LITTLE VIOLENT who am i talking about ron or crookshanks you don’t know
My mind keeps also drawing comparisons between Ron the Consistently Underappreciated with his overachieving brothers, and Crookshanks who languished at the pet store watching the cuter kittens get adopted…
This also makes Ron’s dislike of Crookshanks pretty hilarious
THAT IS ABSOLUTELY THE CRUX OF MY CROOKSHANKS IS THE CAT VERSION OF RON PHILOSOPHY. Fucking of course he hates that cat because he is that cat and he is Ron fucking Weasley. If Ron Weasley had a double that double would be better than him and he’d hate him too.
And of course Hermione has a soft spot for the most disagreeable, underdog cat in the world.
Befrends a lonly black haired dog who had spent years neglected and locked away.
I think Harry missed a great fucking opportunity to mess with Voldemort’s head. Like instead of looking through his mind, he should have put strange fucking shit in there.
Ron: What are you doing?
Harry: Projecting a shit ton of gay porn into Voldemort’s mind so he can’t see the Aurors coming for him.
jinlinli 
