lochnessmonsterofficial:

lochnessmonsterofficial:

Trying to communicate with my future morning self is like setting an elaborate trap for an unsuspecting zombie like

if I put my phone alarm on full volume and vibrate and move the charger so I can put it on this out-of-reach metal surface, I can startle her awake. Probably. Then if I securely duct tape this caffeinated chocolate bar to it, it will provide a challenging situation and make her mushy little brain work extra hard to figure out how to turn the alarm off. Then she might go for the chocolate while she’s turning off the loud noises. With luck, she’ll consume the whole thing. 20 minutes of bliss then boom, physiology kicks in and the caffeine reaches her brain. Gentlemen, this just might work.

It didn’t work.

builtfjordtuff:

sunnyaalisse:

fun fact: procrastination happens to animals too. it’s a naturall thing.

animal equivalents for scrolling tumblr include:
 – hamsters starting to wash their faces in inaproppriate situations
 – hyenas stopping everything and starting to dig holes in the ground.

 – seagulls starting to ruffle their feathers instead of doing important things

this happens for two reasons: 

1) an animal is in the situation where none of the standard scenarious it has are fitting, so it does the next best thing 
(example: hamsters were put in a vibrating bowl, they couldn’t run or attack, so in about a minute they stopped everything and started washing their faces.)

2) an animal has two conflicting instincts fighting for dominance, so the third one, usualy suppressed by them, kicks in.
(example: when two hyenas meet at the border of their territories, they have an instinct to protect their own territory conflict with an instinct not to cross someone else’s. they don’t know if they need to attack or leave, so both start digging holes in the ground.
example: a seagull sitting on the nest needs to protect her children, but also has to go get some food. instead a seagull settles for ruffling her feathers for two hours.)

with humans it’s usually the second reason.
(example: I’m tired and I want to go to sleep, but I should write an essay for tomorrow. both these things are important, so I’m procrastinating them by writing this post.)

nature is beautiful.
I’m gonna go to sleep now.

Honestly, digging holes in the ground to avoid dealing with a confrontation sounds like something I would do.

sewingfrommagic:

silver-boots:

steadfast:

vampireapologist:

You all, fools: *getting tattoos based on the ancient tattoos they find on bog mummies and the other ancient dead that for all you know will bind you to a forgotten god that now by all rights has a claim on your life for better or for worse*

Me, and intellectual: *doesnt fucking do that*

A forgotten god cannot run my life any worse than I am currently running it myself.

Bog mummy take the wheel

@chersidamas @deathbyateacup @c9-smoothie @the-trojan-horseface @p-amanda-monium I’M HOWLING