vampire – Page 2

carrot-gallery:

What We Do In The Shadows 2 (2019) dir. Taika Waititi

heedra:

heedra:

if you really want to fuck a vampire then i’d say you’re down for the count

damn thats a lot of notes and a lot of vampire fuckers, i guess its time to raise the stakes

needmorefiction:

ocdevelopmentstuff:

weeb-dweeb:

ocdevelopmentstuff:

Me, very loudly, while sticking my neck out: Gosh, I hope no vampires bite me. That’d suck. Being bitten by a vampire, that is. Boy, I sure do hope there are no vampires waiting to come out and bite me while my neck is so open and exposed like this. I’d sure hate to have that happen.

Do you want to *be* a vampire or are you so touch starved you need a creature of the night to mouth fuck your neck

Yes.

@quarra

queerbeerz:

I am screAMING

claroquequiza:

Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT

araniaart:

h-4-rry:

omg-humor:

I’d give them the benefit of the doubt

Sure. Tea?

Vampires DO need to be invited inside….

viridiansunlight:

salty-geralty:

heedra:

so many modern vampire stories avoid giving them the power to turn into bats, probably out of the fear that it is too silly and uncool but this is cowardice, the best thing about vampires is they are stupid as shit, and any vampire media should embrace that

excuse me but

Look this is clearly why What Do We Do In The Shadows is the only good modern piece of vampire media.

thebibliosphere:

bluebowls:

tartts:

if I don’t get bit by a vampire and turn into a gorgeous immortal woman with questionable morality, irresistible charm, and enthralling mystique then what’s the point

@thebibliosphere

Precisely.

one-for-all-plus-ultra:

aversion-to-apples:

cobaltdays:

what y’all thinking about fellas

So garlic is a natural anticoagulant, but then why would vampires be allergic to it?

Hear me out:

What if vampires made up all the stuff about them being allergic to garlic so that their victims would eat it, thinking it would ward off vamps, but instead it makes their blood easier to drink!

Because it doesn’t clot!

This has really been getting to me recently. Have I uncovered their master conspiracy or am I going insane?

you know too much

lapushwerewolves:

BIG MOOD